Pastel Art of James Southworth | |
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Photo Box By Jean Southworth August, 2002
Recently Jim and Taylor returned from McCall and Annie from
helping with the babes of Sacramento. Zach had no interest in leaving his
electronic world so I stayed home to monitor him, his friends and the in-heat
dog. It proved a delightful week for me. I got some quiet time in a house that
got only ¼ as dirty each time I vacated a room, with a boy that slept
different hours than me, yet was available in the middle of the night should
an emergency arise. This boy is actually pretty man-like these days. Without the normal flow of laundry, dishes, garbage, cooking
and driving, I did whatever struck my fancy. I finished books that had been
gathering dust on my nightstand. I rented movies for the first time in over a
year. I got a hot stone massage where they put rocks in between my toes. And I
still had time to spare. The storage closet beckoned. Dare I? Inside was the job of a
lifetime: boxes of photos and negatives in a state of utter disorder. I
scarcely knew how to begin. The start was a little rough. I drove around three
hours on one of the hottest days of the year in Jim’s car with
malfunctioning air conditioning, searching for archival storage boxes, only to
locate them in five minutes on the internet. A week later, I’m nearly done. I feel a sense of
accomplishment akin to losing ten pounds. I also feel a sense of gratitude for
a good marriage, healthy children, and an abundant life. My photo albums are fairly complete and our kids pore over
them occasionally, but yesterday I got deep into reject photos, some that had
not seen the light of day in 20 years. I discovered a few gems which I lined
up on our long kitchen counter. It is a line of our family history. Pictures
that didn’t make the album are little treasures now. Most are simple,
everyday glimpses of our life. Jim in his Air Force uniform laughing at
toddler Zach in the laundry basket. Zach and Annie climbing in a giant box at
Christmas, ignoring the presents. Little Annie asleep with her eyes looking
more enormous than usual. Kids dressing up in impromptu costume parties.
Taylor and Jim playing Barney board games. Zach and Annie after a bath, rolled
in towels, piled atop each other on the couch like a couple sausages. I took fewer photos when Zach and Annie were very little and
money was tight. Probably I was just trying to survive. The stack of photos
from our two years at Faircrest Ct. just slightly surpasses what I take in a
summer today. Even the lack of photos tells me something of our history. I
think of Melanie now, with her three babies under 2 and a half years. Don’t
worry, sis. Someday, you’ll breath again. The developer envelopes provide nearly forgotten addresses for
our various homes in Portland, Virginia, Arizona and Salem. While I threw away
most envelopes in my organization, I kept a handful as historical reminders of
the many places we’ve lived. Some of the photos are surreal. Jim and me standing in front
of the World Trade Center, then inside on the observation deck, pretending
like we’re falling off. Good fun then, now almost too much to see. How the
meaning of a single photograph can change over time… Or the photos of friends whose marriages didn’t last. They
are so young, attractive and hopeful in their photos. I want to yell back
through the years at them, to warn them to guard what is precious. I am fortunate: our family’s historical path is largely
sweet. I don’t think I could accomplish this organizational task otherwise.
The sense of nostalgia overwhelms me. This would be an unbearable task if I
didn’t already know the satisfied outcome to the line of photos in the
kitchen. Everyone’s back home now. My camera’s loaded. The house
grows messy. It’s OK.
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